I've been in a bit of a funk recently. Not depressed but I just feel like I'm treading water. I'm loving my home life, everything from 6pm-8am is peaches but work has been on autopilot and with us going away in two weeks time, its been like I'm holding my breath waiting for something to happen.
And that's been the issue, I'm not very good at waiting. If things aren't going in the right direction I like to take hold of the wheel and I haven't been able to do that. I thought I was in the driving seat but just found out it's a left-hand drive car. Then I realised that for the first time in my life I feel like an adult. Not that I want a shed and have started reading the finance section of the paper (though maybe I should) but up until this point I've never felt that different from when I left school. I know I've changed and I'm definitely not the same person but I always felt (mentally) closer to high-school 'me' than to whatever age I physically was. I'm beginning to feel like this has changed. I'm more in control and while I still having a hard time believing I'm 28, It doesn't seem as far off as it used to.
Among my teenage friends I was something of a security blanket for some of their parents: “Oh George is going, then that's okay then.” Even when I wasn't going to be at parties, friends would tell their parents I would be just to reassure them. Hell, one night I think I was at three parties at the same time. This perceived responsibility led to a guy I was at school with commenting, “George, you've been 36 since you were 13.”
Perhaps that's it. Maybe I'm finally going to be able to start acting my age; about to come into my prime. If that's the case then I'm not going to wait another eight years, I've decided that 28 is the new 36 and this is the beginning of something good. I don't know what's going to happen but I'm going to pass my funk and I feel energised. It could be the White Stripes I have playing in the background (damn right no Seven Nation Army's going to hold me back). It could be that can of Red Bull I'm drinking. No matter what kicked this off, something's going to happen.