Friday, 16 June 2006

Or I could just learn how to wiggle my nose

I think I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I’ve been getting hay fever lately. Well, I had a reoccurrence on the train into work and by the time I got to my stop I thought that perhaps the Euphrates had been diverted into my sinus and no one had thought to tell me. I stood on the packed escalator with one hand pinching my nose, hoping that I’d reach the street before I sneezed all over the guy in front of me.

As the moving stairway peaked and I could finally see the exit barriers, another previous guest of Reality Splinter showed up. Just there on the concourse were three energetic, brightly dressed, beautiful spokes models, handing away free samples of Sorbent Velvet tissues (with aloe). For just a moment I felt as if the white-toothed angels were giving away disposable hankies purely for my benefit.

As I carefully blew my nose on the way out of the station, I thought about how cool it would be to go about performing god-ish tasks. I’m not asking for epic powers like the ability to cure disease or invoke peace. Yeah, the headline grabbing stuff was best left to the professionals like Buddah, Jesus and Darwin. I’d prefer to perform more personal miracles such as causing lonely people to bump into one another in the street or creating a ten dollar note in the pocket of a coat that hadn’t been worn in a while. Even the minor feat of making sure there was always enough milk in the fridge for your cup of tea would be more than enough for me. I wonder if there’s a way of getting into the wish granting industry without selling one’s soul to Beelzebub or a life of servitude in a magic lamp?

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