The fifty-eighth sense doesn’t quite have the same ring

Taking shots at Scientology is far too easy. It’s like winning an argument by comparing the other person to the Nazis: anyone can do it and it doesn't make you Churchill. However, when I find something like this, its just too sweet a chance to pass up.

El Ron decided that there are 57 senses or "perceptics" (an extra 52 more than the five us norms already know about) and through looking at over-sized chairs, riding fairground attractions giving money to Scientology you too can access them. The highlights include:

• Solidity (barriers) – Not so much a sense as not being a ghost.
• Relative sizes (external) –You don’t need to tithe John Travolta a new jet for the privilege of learning this one.
• Motion of self – W.A.L.K.I.N.G. El Ron. Walking.
• Saline content of self (body) – Why would anyone want that one? “Hmmm, sense… turgidity!”
• Emotional state of other organs – Boo hoo, my liver feels rejected.
• Reality (self and others) – TomKat should spend some more time on this one.
• Emotional state of groups – Boo hoo, GLADD feels rejected.
• Awareness of not knowing – Ahhhh, I didn’t know what I was missing.
• Personal emotion – Boo hoo, I’ve followed Scientology and now I feel rejected.

If they were hocking spider sense or x-ray vision then maybe it would be OK, but if you call the whole thing Super Power then you really have to offer something more 'super' than Perception of Appetite.