Cat descending a staircase

The pet door we have for our cats had to be put in a window so we can have the glass replaced when we move (we don’t want to have to spring for a new door) and so it is about four feet off the ground. For Fisher this is no problem as he, strangely enough, possesses the dexterity of a cat. Tandem unfortunately, being older and part sloth, has all the grace and agility of half a kilo of mushrooms – and that’s your common button ‘shrooms I’m talking about, not those high-wire circus shitake you can find in the Orient.

So yesterday, I made my way to Bunnings (Mitre10 or B&Q for our foreign readers) for supplies. I got a plank of treated pine and some thinner wood to nail across the board as foot holds. 20 minutes there, 20 minutes back and as I started to get my tools out, I found that I didn’t have the right nails (the ones I had were too short) so I had to go another 12 minutes there, 12 minutes back (I found a quicker route that avoids the traffic lights of the other way). Everything finally at hand, I fashioned a gangplank. Now it might not look like much but it does the job and it means that we can finally get rid of the litter tray.

As you can see from the photo, I’m one of the last people in the world you want manual tasks yet I still enjoy visits to the modern Hardware Megastore. A guy at work told me the tale of a friend of his who has been banned by his wife from returning to Bunnings because he went out to buy some screws and came back with a welding kit. And that's the reason right there, they seemingly contain every tool I could ever need. Even though I go in for a length of timber and a hand full of nails, the potential is there for me to leave with a bolt gun, a DIY fallout shelter kit and an eight-burner barbeque meaning I could potentially attach, survive and flame-grill anything the world can throw at me; given the right tools.